One of the things I have always struggled with is driving my car. Anxiety has played a big part in this.
It all started when I began to have driving lessons many years ago after my 17th birthday. My first attempts to learn were not particularly successful and although I made it to my first driving test, I didn’t pass and at that point I left things for a while.
A few years later I decided to try again but this time learnt on an automatic car. The lessons went much better and I passed my test.
I then had to wait a while before getting my first car at which point I had lost my confidence again. My mum helped me by coming out in the car with me and teaching me the routes I needed to know so I didn’t have to panic about which lane I should be in.
I managed to drive for a number of years. I’ve never been the sort of driver who can get into a car and drive anywhere but I knew the routes I needed to take and was mobile.
After I came to live with Jack I started to commute by train to work so my car ended up abandoned on our drive and eventually I took the decision to sell it.
When Jack was ill I started to think it might be useful for me to drive again. It took many months but eventually I plucked up the courage to have refresher lessons again. The lessons went really well. For the first time in my life I drove on a motorway and finally the day came when I brought a car.
I started to go out in the car with Jack to learn the routes I might want to take. This time my anxiety took over and I convinced myself I wouldn’t be able to cope if I was in the car on my own. Slowly my confidence levels dropped and I drove less and less.
However, at the start of this year, with my new mind-set that things needed to change, I have added driving my car to my list of things I really want to accomplish.