During the time Jack was recovering we had to take a break from the adoption process but a few months passed and we felt ready and strong enough to resume.
Following some medically related correspondence, we were allowed to pick up where we left off. However, things had changed somewhat in the adoption world. There had been a ruling that children should be placed within their own family networks and adoption should be viewed by social workers as a last resort.
The number of adoptions was falling and we found things had changed quite substantially with the way in which prospective adopters were now matched with children. We tried really hard to understand the new system and feel positive about it but it just didn’t sit well with us. Our fabulous social worker went on maternity leave and we entered a phase where there was no continuity with our social workers. Each one who came to meet us moved on to a new role within a few months so we didn’t feel we had much opportunity to build a rapport with any of them.
We had the occasional glimmer of hope with some news of a potential match for us but on several occasions we waited for several months for further news but were then told the child was no longer being considered to be placed with adopters.
The old feelings of being at a standstill returned. We put our lives on hold and couldn’t plan anything more than a few weeks in advance ‘just in case’ we received some news.
4 long years after beginning this journey which seemed so exciting at the start, we made the very difficult and very sad decision to leave the adoption process. It was a harder decision to make than when we decided to try to adopt and it took many months to reach. However, we wanted to start living our lives again instead of constantly waiting for something to happen.
And following this decision, an even scarier question came up…..what do we do now?