Jack and I met in 2006 on Groundhog Day. It was clear very quickly that we were meant to be together.
We had discussed having children quite early on. We didn’t want to wait too long to start a family after getting married and talked through plans whilst we were away on our honeymoon.
From then onwards, the years started to take on a familiar pattern. I had a job that had a yearly cycle of activities. We planned regular holidays and enjoyed socialising with our friends. It was all lovely to do and I tried really hard to live in the moment and enjoy it. But I felt an emptiness.
I used to commute to work by train and one of the things I enjoyed was overhearing snippets of conversation by other commuters. It would set my imagination alight, wondering who they were, what jobs they had, what were their lives like.
On a number of occasions, I heard women announcing to their friends/colleagues that they were pregnant, then as the months went by it would be their last day before maternity leave, then their friends would be discussing the arrival of the baby and then some months later the new mother would be back at work talking about the perils of juggling motherhood and work.
I started to feel very stuck in my life. I also felt very guilty as after all, I was pretty lucky. I had a roof over my head, food on my table, a job and friends and family who cared about me. But it was very difficult to get away from that feeling that something was missing.
Jack and I talked often but we felt that going down the route of medical tests and IVF just wasn’t the right direction for us.
And then I started to think about a possible alternative….